This is an uncomfortable topic for most, with roots in ignorance and control, perpetuated by religious doctrines, tribal beliefs and that probably goes back to human's emergence on this planet.
It goes back to animalistic behavior where the female of the species goes into estrus and the males come to mate. It was and it is survival of the species.
The difference between humans and other species is that humans have the ability to think, discern and expect more than just a mating encounter for perpetuation of the species.
Mostly, but not always.
Somehow the illusion that to "win" the female the male must exert dominance and sometimes violence over her, and the concept perpetuated by many societies that females must submit to the male to be accepted created the myth that if a woman is forcibly violated, sexually attacked and raped it must be the woman's fault. That she didn't cover herself properly and didn't dress modestly makes no difference here.
It is just a sick excuse to act like animals with no respect for one another. Very few species, spiders and praying mantis come to mind, will kill and eat the male after mating. But they are mating, not just ejaculating to relieve themselves of pent up stress.
As a woman, I won't entertain you here with all that I witnessed and endured when it comes to this topic. All i wanted to say is that violence against another living being is unacceptable to me and hopefully to you.
Namaste.

There are many types of energies in the known Universe, each with a specific purpose and application.
On this plane we live in, each of us has a purpose or a mission to accomplish on our path towards evolution. Some of the energies that exist on this plane are Guardian Spirits (or Angels, as some prefer to call them), special envoys of higher planes, assigned to Souls that enter the physical.
Their mission is to stand by those Souls throughout their physical journey in a particular lifetime.
Each Soul here on this plane has been given a map, a plan assigned to him/her, at some point in their evolution time.
This map has many options, opportunities and roads to choose from. Many times we will come to a fork on the road we travel, and no matter which direction we choose, we will eventually arrive at our destination.
The catch is that some roads are more arduous and difficult than others, with stumbling blocks that seem impossible to overcome, and yet we eventually overcome them, only to come to another fork on the road and again be forced to choose.
Whichever way we choose, our Guardian Spirits will still stand by our choices, even when we sometimes feel as if we were abandoned, left alone to face trials and suffering.
Make no mistake, everything has been taken care of.
Everything we do in life, or that seems to happen to us, has been planned in advance.
The instructions on how to follow the map we are given, are accessible to those who do not shut themselves off to Universal Guidance, to their Higher Selves or the Higher Realms.
The ones that deny themselves higher guidance will still arrive at their destination in life, but those are the ones that seem to struggle so much and have so many difficulties getting things accomplished.
Incredible as it may seem, even the traumas and horrors some of us are faced with are part of the plan. In other words, were placed in the map as options.
They have a purpose in our evolution.

There is an order to the Universe, and by Universe, I mean a vast and limitless collection of energies, that coexist  simultaneously in different planes of reality.
This physical plane we live in, by itself is comprised of many realities and to comprehend the complexity of it all requires an awakening to the oneness of the field we call life.
When we tune in to higher guidance, we allow the flow of the Universe to take us through lesser difficulties, to warn us of dangers to avoid, to walk in balance with the energies of this planet.

It has taken me a lifetime of trials and errors, traumas and tragedies, physical illnesses, intense inner work and journeys to arrive at a point of acceptance, of trust and integrity of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies, of compassion and oneness with all life forms in the Cosmos and all living things on Earth.
It has not been an easy road, on the contrary, it has been extremely difficult and painful at times, but it was the one I chose to get here, to a point of Oneness, Enlightenment and Attunement, and I wouldn't have chosen any other way.

Before we became flesh and blood, we were our glorious and magnificent selves.
What says we have to forget that and think small?
Who we really are, what some call Souls, and what I call Beings, have come to this realm from many places in this Universe. We came to partake of a physical world of beauty, called Earth, to express ourselves and become part of this creation of Life.
We came from many places.
We have many differences, but we have one thing in common: a love for Life and beauty.
It is time to awaken to the truth of your being, whatever that might be.
Let the old baggage behind, what good does it serve to carry old pain from incarnation to incarnation?
This planet needs you to awake to who you are or all of this journey will be in vain.
-Amayah-

"We come to you today to address the changes upon all life on this planet.
First, what you call climate change:
It is erroneous to call the seemingly chaotic weather patterns as climate change. The chaotic and seemingly unseasonable patterns of weather are a product of the disregard for the life balance required of this planet for it to thrive.
We will not dwell into the details of hundreds of years of human activity, but will say that Humans have moved farther and farther away from the awareness of life and how delicate its balance is.
Second, the erroneous belief that Humans are superior to all life on this planet, and therefore have the right to exploit, destroy, pillage and conquer at will.
This is what has brought you to the state of affairs you find yourselves in today. Contrary to what you have been brought to believe, you are not superior and therefore it is arrogant to assume you have the right to kill, dominate, subjugate and exterminate.
You are but an expression upon countless forms of life in this you call Universe, and beyond.
Third, your evolution was curtailed by a species that saw this planet as a place to continue its existence.
This species, not only seized the opportunity before you became a highly evolved Human, they rooted themselves deeply in your Souls to keep your vibration low and your density high. They keep you coming back as Humans because every time you assume another human body, the memory of who you are and your frequency becomes less and less, until you believe you are nothing but a powerless creature.
Lastly, you cannot go back in time to undo all that was done before.
You can, however, wake up and unbury yourselves out of the falsehoods you were told countless of times about who you are, your purpose for being here and empower yourselves once again.
Only when you remember where you came from, why you came here, what you came here to do, will you then take responsibility for your place in the restoration of life on this planet."
-The Beings from a Far Away Galaxy-

This is an article I wrote in 1995 in a monthly newsletter I published in Eastern Washington.

"Have you ever tried that game?
Sure, we all do that from time to time. We look at people and do not see them for who they really are. We struggle with what we would like them to be, and the more we "try" to make them look like the image we would like them to look like, the more frustrated we get.
We all have an idea of the perfect relationship, of the perfect work place, of the perfect family, of the perfect friend.... those are our "round holes".
Then, we have relationships with people we want to fit in those round holes, but they don't fit.
In fact, we never see them as they really are, we pick up a thing here and there that we like about them and complain about the rest.
We try, and try, and try to make them fit, and the more we try, the worse it gets. We don't realize the whole picture, we just keep finding more square pegs to fit into our round holes.
I've been playing this game all my life, actually.
My family was a bunch of square pegs that never fit the image of "Father knows best", the ideal and perfect family to me.
Somehow, in my mind, I had this perfect picture of how things should be in a "perfect" world (I definitely knew how it shouldn't be).
The more I looked around, the more faults I found, and the more I tried to right the wrong, the greater the frustrations and turmoil. The level of anxiety kept going up as I looked around and all I saw were the injustices, the wrongs, the sickness.
Some of those wrongs were and are too big a job for one person to handle, so the anxiety level got worse.
I've tried everything I knew. Still, the wrongs and unfairness continued to thrive. It happened in the place where I worked, it happened with the kind of men that showed up in my life. The kind that don't fit in my ideal of a relationship, where fairness, kindness, love and respect should thrive.
Having to face my work situation every day was taxing on me.
I placed them in love,, I prayed for them, I took the situation to the Principals of the Company, still, nothing changed.
I stood up for myself, I dealt with my anger, I spoke up in love, I grew and matured and yet, their treatment was unfair and humiliating. I worked on letting go, I placed the situation in the hands of the Creator and let things unfold.
Still, nothing changed.
I was strong in my power, I walked with my head high, I was kind to my co-workers, but I still caught them making snide remarks about me.
I could see clearly through them; I knew exactly why they acted the way they acted, and yet it still bothered and affected me.
I've been writing about letting other people in, accepting them by who they really are, and yet, I couldn't do it myself, until today, when I clearly saw a picture of a square peg trying to be fitted into a square hole.
I stopped.
I looked at my life and saw hundreds of square pegs, none of which fit my image of how "things" should be.
I saw myself holding a handful of square pegs.
I opened my hand and let them all fall onto the ground.
I gave up "trying".

Going through my files, found some old poetry I wrote in the 1990's:

In shock
Old self is dead
Need time
To sit back and allow time
To take new shape.
Molecules will arrange themselves
In new form. just let it happen.
Male and female in one, as one
The Soul has no gender
The outer appearance is just a consequence
of genetic arrangement.
Observe the birth of who I am
Ethereal forms dancing,
moving in perfect synchronicity
Shaping into new form,
Moving in perfect harmony,
Each molecule of energy
Knows exactly where to go
Searching its new place
Its new partner.
It has happened,
I am here.

Amayah

There are many studies done on childhood development from a physical and psychological standpoint, but I have not seen any postulation of how the energy field develops from childhood to adulthood, so here are my findings based on a lifelong experience and over 30 years as a healer / shaman.

A child is born with a malleable energy field, not yet formed by beliefs, societal norms or family of origin.
This energy field is easily impressed upon by events, fulfilled or unfulfilled needs, abuse of all kinds.
The body will grow, regardless of any outside influence, but the impressions in the field will affect the physiological development of that child.
Words carry an energy impact that penetrate the malleable field because the field of a child is not yet strong enough to discern what is coming in as their own or from an outside source.  For example: if a child is repetitively told throughout its young life that she /he is not good enough, as the brain develops, the energy of those words will find a place through the child's field and affect decision making, learning ability and emotional bonds.
When words are added to physical abuse, the energy of the blows coupled with the emotional charge of those blows, penetrate the field and find a place to stay in the child's body.
Take the developing brain for example; the brain is known for its neuroplasticity, i.e., the ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment.
If blows, coupled with the emotional charge and words added to it are repeated through the childhood years, as the brain develops, the ability to develop itself as it was intended to do biologically is impaired and programmed by the brain's circuitry created by the abuse, and where those circuitries are located may later on in life be branded as personality disorders, emotional dysfunctions, and sometimes, mental illness.
Abuse of any kind create open gashes in the child's field, sometimes creating openings that never close and allowing entities to find a way into the body, and affecting the entire life of the child and later on, the adult. As most people are unaware of this, diseases and disorders are treated medically by professionals that do not have the knowledge necessary to address the energy field, energy dysfunctions and efficiently help those affected by it.
Shamans know this. Some Healers know this. I have known this for some time, as I, myself spent my whole life struggling to release those energy wounds from my physical, emotional, mental and energy bodies. Luckily, I started to learn from my own struggles through years of therapy, from my energy guides and from friends and clients of the effect of energy and its role in creating disease in the body, how and where it lodges itself, the beliefs attached to it, the origin of it, the emotional charge  from the abuser and how it impacted my development as a human being.

I will not refer here to the Goddess or sacred feminine concepts, but to the reality of being a woman on this planet today.
More specifically, I want to share my experience of being a woman born in the early 1950's in Brazil and my 42 years of life in the U.S.
Women in South America are relegated to functions and working opportunities of less value than men. In Brazil, much earlier than my working age, my mother went to University to become an Architect. She was the only woman in her whole class. Soon after graduation she realized the difficulties of procuring a job in a male dominated society and opened her own office. She struggled her whole working life to make a living as a woman, but later in life she was fortunate to find clients that were appreciative of her work.
I did not want to become an Architect, but had no other choice, as my mother would not allowed me to follow any other vocation. Yes, she was controlling and domineering, so I had no other choice. I went to University in the early 1970's and still, I was one of only three women in the whole class.
After graduation, during my work search, I was told many times that the Architect's position was for men only, why don't I just go home and be a housewife....
I eventually found jobs, only to witness the male disdain for the professional women in their employ.
The treatment of women in Brazil by the majority of the male dominated society was that women were put on Earth to be used by men when their sexual urges needed to be satisfied, cook and clean for them and if the man believed his woman gave a side glance to another man, it was cause for beating and sometimes murder.
Yes, violence against women was and I believe still is rampant today in Brazil and South America, just because it is socially accepted and applauded. Yes, applauded.
I myself was subjected to it many times.
After I moved to the U.S., I thought it would be different, until, in the early 1980's, I went to a job interview in Southern California. While I was explaining my portfolio to the man interviewing me, I was suddenly interrupted by him with "I'm very disappointed... I was under the impression I was going to interview a young man, not a woman..." ( I have a deep voice, so I am often mistaken by a male on the phone). I quickly rolled up the drawings and told him I had to go.
Many similar instances happened in my working life in the U.S., but that one was the most flagrant.
I don't have a family here. My blood family in Brazil died, one by one, a long time ago, so I have always had to provide for myself. This led me to several work places where I had to swallow my pride and just do my best.
There are Countries and cultures on this planet where men do not work side by side with women, and in the 1980's and '90's, many foreigners from Asia and the Middle East came here and were quickly hired for many reasons, not always of merit and I had to either work with them, or they had to work under my supervision. It was very difficult, as their displeasure and aversion was very apparent, no matter how professional I tried to maintain.
With this background, having to work in a male dominated corporate world, where women are not allowed to climb the same social, economic and work ladder as men, I learned later on to work with men on their own terms. No feminine traits were allowed if I was to communicate and get the job done. I learned to talk like men, think like men, and take action like men.
I never really had a chance to be the feminine woman I was born to be and I cry every time I hear stories of abuse towards women in Countries were brutality and viciousness against women are still rampant.
I learned to be assertive, stand up for myself and use my intuition to guide my actions. I learned to be comfortable wearing pants and pant suits, so men would not be distracted and make sexual advances, but even so, I didn't escape sexual harassment in the work place.
I notice in many overly feminine environments, a tendency towards wearing sexually revealing clothing, which, in my experience, only perpetuates the social inequality between the sexes. Women can be attractive and sensual without advertising their enlarged breasts or buttocks. Women can be respected when they are confident about themselves without playing the seduction game to advance socially in life.
Being feminine is inherent to women. It is being nurturing and allowing intuition to guide her actions, which is, in my opinion, having worked in a male dominated environment, a huge advantage over men.
I am at peace with being a woman, and as a crone (the archetypal figure, a Wise Woman), I am comfortable with who I am.
I am balanced between the male and female aspects of me, and sometimes I get puzzled looks from people that can't quite "figure me out."
Oh well...

Once upon a time, eons ago, two luminous Beings shared their first life with each other.
There was only one life between them.
In cosmic reality, when two Beings share their lives with each other, it is for eternity.
One of these beings was me, Amayah.
Amayah was taken from her other to another cosmic place to be prepared to become a hybrid of some sorts, with many additions to herself, and be given a body to dwell on.
He, on the other hand, stayed behind and left.

Fast forward in time and Amayah was brought here, planet Earth, with many others to help create the magnetic field necessary to create life. Many came. including her lost other.
By now, she was not the same luminous Being as him, and when she was made human, so did he.
For many human lives they looked for each other, to have the same fate repeated over and over again, she always taken from him, he always left behind.

This lifetime, Amayah came here, with three purposes:
1. to become who she originally was, but in human form;
2. find her other and heal the broken first life she and him shared together;
3. to finish the work she was brought to this planet long time ago.

I became who I always was but fused with two remaining aspects of the old Amayah Being which was not Human and with the human body I now have.
I came to this Country in 1977 and started looking for him the following year. I had no idea who he was, where he was, his name, nothing.
Everyone I met throughout my life I knew was not him.
In 2008, I wrote down on a poster board all that I knew about him, added some pictures and hung it on my wall in my living room.
In 2012 I lost my house and the poster came down. I stopped searching as I believed he was never to be found.
Through many life circumstances, two years ago I came across someone that evoked a sweetness in me. Problem was, he lived 4,600 miles away and was unavailable.
Fast forward to three months ago and everything took a life of its own.
I can't go into more details right now, but suffice to say, I had to become who I am in Human form before him, so I could heal the first union and also the Human he had become.

And no, unlike most fairy tales, this one does not have a happy ending.
At least not yet.
The original first union has to complete itself in this realm, but it may not happen.
I am told he needs to accept who he is to be by my side when I am called to complete the work interrupted long ago on this planet.
It may not happen either, so I will need to complete my work alone, which I can do, but am told he will need to be with me at that time, as I cannot be alone then.

When the hype about twin flames or twin souls was popular in the 1980's, I didn't quite understand what it meant. Well, in a way we are "twin souls" as we were originally two equals that shared one life together and then were separated to end up in an endless search for each other.
This life, I am not taken away from him, but he does not want to share one life again with me.
I am comforted by the fact that I healed the brokenness of the original union, as well as many countless lifetimes here and thus this will not repeat itself, but the pain of not being able to have a life as one again in this realm is unbearable.

To be continued.