It's been a while since I wrote another blog.
Just because I'm a Shaman, doesn't mean I'm done working on myself. I believe one's core issues will never disappear; instead, the intensity it brings to one's life diminishes with time and work and it becomes the inner teacher and guide.
A core issue is constant, always present, always asking for one's attention.
When one pays attention, accepts it, and recognizes the valuable opportunity it brings to wisdom and maturity, one understands it's purpose for being there and stops acting out the pain.
When one recognizes the core issues in one's life, specially a Healer's life, compassion and presence develops not just for the Self but for others.
I have done a lot of work on myself, releasing layers upon layers of pain and suffering, each time making more room for my true self to come home.
Interesting thing, numerologically, I'm a number five life lesson. Freedom is what I came here to pursue and achieve. Freedom to be, to speak, to have absolutely no ties to anything or anyone.
There are so many aspects to the meaning of freedom. Just when I thought I finally did it, another aspect comes up for me to accept, integrate the lesson and release.
It's like the Universe says. "well, lets see if you can go deeper now and figure this one out.."
In the late 1980's, I enrolled in the Healing Light Center Church, run by Rosalyn Bruyere., in Glendale, CA. As part of the curriculum, she believed that all healers are wounded healers, and that we needed to heal ourselves in order to heal others.
She encouraged all her students to experience Past-Life Regression therapy, and recommended her friend Dr. Morris Netherton. So I heeded her advice and for a year and a half I embarked on the journey of self-discovery, first with Dr. Netherton himself, then with a certified practitioner of his, and lastly with a dear lady that became a beloved friend of mine.
I remember wondering why all my previous lives where so tragic. A wizard apprentice that knew what the wizard was doing to poison the King, an herbalist in the Middle Ages, viewed by the village as evil because she knew how to heal, a Medicine Woman in an Inca Village poisoned by a man that declared that if he could not have her she needed to die with all her people, and so on.
I asked if I ever had a happy life, and was transported to a Monastery in Tibet, where I was happy being One with life.
The common tread in all those past lives is that I never felt that I belonged anywhere. I was never accepted, I always knew what was going on and always ended up killed for what I was.
Fast forward to this life and it has always been very obvious I never fit in anywhere.
The need to fit in, be accepted and be loved created a behavior I cannot sustain anymore. It is not in the best interest to me, this planet and all life on this planet to allow others to view me as a threat to their illusory existence and then retreat. It has been very obvious to me that, my mere presence anywhere, mirrors back to others what they are afraid of seeing in the mirror.
Subconsciously, everyone senses each other's energy and presence. How it translate into their awareness depends on what they are being triggered with by another's energy.
In the early 90's I met several gifted people in Sedona that were very impressed by my presence and proceeded to tell me things like, "Wow, you are pure Light, you sit at the right hand side of God", or, "When you were born, all the Gods in India rejoiced", or "Your hands feel like the hands of God touching me", etc.
My reaction? Rage. Why rage? Because my reality on this planet did not, and never did, match their visions. Yes, my life here was a struggle. It was filled with abuse, pain and suffering. In my mind, if I was such a thing they described to me, why did people shun me?
The Beings in my life explained to me this way:
"What you represent to others is what they are afraid of accepting themselves. Humans have accumulated so much density, their cries for freedom were buried deep a long time ago and when your Light shines in their presence, their pain is so great, they cannot themselves break the walls and join you in their magnificence. It is easier to reject your presence because they have come to believe as their truth, that they are small, powerless and must keep those walls up in order to survive. What you represent to them is what they have come to believe is not possible, much in the same way you did not believe it yourself when you were told the truth of who you are."
I am Amayah. Here you will find the story of an amazing being that became trapped in the cycle of incarnation on Earth. I hope that my experiences inspire you to discover your story.