Lies

In an NPR interview today with Barbra Streisand, the singer / composer was asked what motivated her to write the song "Don't Lie to Me".
Besides the current political climate, she mentioned early childhood events that shaped her sense of justice and truth. This deeply spoke to me, as I too was constantly lied to for most of my childhood by my close family members.
Because of my early NDE I developed a kin sense of knowing what the truth is behind people's facades. I just knew that the words being spoken did not match the energy or body language behind them.

Nobody ever told me truth. Nobody ever told me anything, as if I didn't matter.
Nobody told me my mother had another man in her life after she and my father divorced.
Nobody told me why nobody cared about me or my existence.
Nobody told me why I was being replaced with another child. All I knew was that one day a baby was brought into the family.
I had no idea where it came from. I was told he was my brother, but my grandmother was quick to correct that statement to "an adopted brother". My grandmother felt shame that my mother had a child out of wedlock, and worse off, with someone not of the same religion.

When I was seven years old, I was pulled out of Hebrew school and enrolled in the Catholic school down the street where I learned the meaning of being bullied, humiliated and ridiculed, not only by the children, but the teachers and nuns. My mother never told me the truth.
I understood forty years later that, as an Architect, her income fluctuated with the market. When the economy was bad, she had no work and had to cut back wherever she could., thus no more Hebrew school. I don't think she understood the consequences of not choosing a public school for me. It was just her poor decision.

I spent my entire life not able to relate successfully with others because of this inner knowing that they were not being truthful. I learned to just accept that most people have their reasons for lying, because maybe the truth is just to painful to express.  On the other hand I cherish those in my life that openly speak and live their truth, no matter how alienating from society that might be.

As a Shaman / Healer, my ability to "see" beyond coping mechanisms in others is what enables me to cut to the chase and address the issue that brought someone to me for healing.
So after all I feel there is a blessing in my pursuit of the truth.

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