I AM the one I came here to be

In 1989, I spent a year undergoing Part-Life regression Therapy as a required thing by the Healing Light School I was enrolled in.   Healer, heal thyself?
In one of the sessions i was directed back in time to the moment of conception.
I remember clearly to this day: I was standing in line at the edge of a platform, when several connected small trams arrived. There was one empty seat, but I was third in line and all of a sudden, I was pushed out of the platform and started falling into my mother's womb at the moment of conception. While falling, I cried repeatedly "it's a mistake, take me back! ".
At the time of that session, it made sense to me why I never felt that those people were my real family, and I let it go.
Until a few years ago, when my life circumstances became intense and it all came to life again.
I was not meant to be born in that family, where I was not wanted and not allowed to become who I am.
Almost sixty-eight years later, I realized that I finally AM the one I am. I finally realized that the "straight jacket" I was encapsulated in has shed away. That I've spent my life up to this point focused on one thing only: freedom to be the Being that I am.
Had I've been born in the family I was meant to be born in, perhaps I would not have wasted 68 years fighting for the right to exist.
So now here I am. The one the Beings in my life call Amayah. They say I am now living Amayah's life.
I feel I have now accomplished the only goal I had for this life: freedom. I don't know what Amayah's life mean.  I know who I am and I don't need a label or explanation, I just am.
I don't come with a "how to" manual, I just AM. I don't know how to explain it. I cannot teach others the mechanics of what I am.
It took me 68 years to get here. 
Too late? Seems like a long time to fight for survival. That was my unspoken purpose in this life and now that it is done, I don't know what else. I don't have a goal, other than I am not ready to go "home" yet.
A part of me wants to retire and go live on an island somewhere and just be. But a part of me feels it would be a waste of all the effort to not start living my life, Amayah's life,  whatever that means.

---