Square Pegs / Round Holes

This is an article I wrote in 1995 in a monthly newsletter I published in Eastern Washington.

"Have you ever tried that game?
Sure, we all do that from time to time. We look at people and do not see them for who they really are. We struggle with what we would like them to be, and the more we "try" to make them look like the image we would like them to look like, the more frustrated we get.
We all have an idea of the perfect relationship, of the perfect work place, of the perfect family, of the perfect friend.... those are our "round holes".
Then, we have relationships with people we want to fit in those round holes, but they don't fit.
In fact, we never see them as they really are, we pick up a thing here and there that we like about them and complain about the rest.
We try, and try, and try to make them fit, and the more we try, the worse it gets. We don't realize the whole picture, we just keep finding more square pegs to fit into our round holes.
I've been playing this game all my life, actually.
My family was a bunch of square pegs that never fit the image of "Father knows best", the ideal and perfect family to me.
Somehow, in my mind, I had this perfect picture of how things should be in a "perfect" world (I definitely knew how it shouldn't be).
The more I looked around, the more faults I found, and the more I tried to right the wrong, the greater the frustrations and turmoil. The level of anxiety kept going up as I looked around and all I saw were the injustices, the wrongs, the sickness.
Some of those wrongs were and are too big a job for one person to handle, so the anxiety level got worse.
I've tried everything I knew. Still, the wrongs and unfairness continued to thrive. It happened in the place where I worked, it happened with the kind of men that showed up in my life. The kind that don't fit in my ideal of a relationship, where fairness, kindness, love and respect should thrive.
Having to face my work situation every day was taxing on me.
I placed them in love,, I prayed for them, I took the situation to the Principals of the Company, still, nothing changed.
I stood up for myself, I dealt with my anger, I spoke up in love, I grew and matured and yet, their treatment was unfair and humiliating. I worked on letting go, I placed the situation in the hands of the Creator and let things unfold.
Still, nothing changed.
I was strong in my power, I walked with my head high, I was kind to my co-workers, but I still caught them making snide remarks about me.
I could see clearly through them; I knew exactly why they acted the way they acted, and yet it still bothered and affected me.
I've been writing about letting other people in, accepting them by who they really are, and yet, I couldn't do it myself, until today, when I clearly saw a picture of a square peg trying to be fitted into a square hole.
I stopped.
I looked at my life and saw hundreds of square pegs, none of which fit my image of how "things" should be.
I saw myself holding a handful of square pegs.
I opened my hand and let them all fall onto the ground.
I gave up "trying".

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