Now that I'm an adult, my understanding of childhood experiences are, let's say, more rational and realistic than the perceptions of a child that had expectations unfulfilled.
I was born into a Jewish family and as such, sent to a Hebrew elementary school. Let's just say, I felt like a fish out of water there, not because I couldn't excel academically, but socially my family status was different from all the others and was looked down upon.
My mother was divorced and the sole provider for the family that included myself, my grandmother, my half brother and my aunt, her younger sister. She didn't drive a car so she depended on public transportation to go places, therefore she couldn't take me to school or pick me up from school, or attend any functions I was required to participate.
The other kids picked up on it, as I relied on the school bus to pick me up and take me home, along with several other kids too.
I was only 7 or 8 years old, and without any warning, I was taken out of that school and sent to a catholic school run by nuns, walking distance from my home. I could not understand the why, as I was never told why, but as a child I believed I wasn't worth of anything good. It wasn't until 40 years ago or so, that I realized my mother had her ups and downs financially as she was self-employed, and in down times, money was tight and she had to make do with shortcuts, hence the nuns' school.
Well, the nuns wanted me to be a good little catholic girl, kneel and make the sign of the cross, and sit in the bible class. I refused to participate in it, as I was Jewish and did not do those things.
As punishment, I was made to stand outside the door for an hour until the class was over. One day, the nuns had enough and decided I was going to sit in the classroom and listen to the story of Adam and Eve.
As she recited the story, I had this picture in my mind of a man and a woman and thousands of people born from them. I didn't laugh at the time, but my immediate reaction was, "no way, this is not possible!"
Well, the kids at that private school called me names, made me cry and called me more names. The nuns then, trying to diffuse the situation would tickle me until I screamed for them to stop. Pure torture.
One day, without advance notice, the teacher announced it was test day. I was seated next to a very large girl and she decided to write all the possible answers on the table. She then proceeded to place her school briefcase over it so the teacher wouldn't see it. Well, the teacher saw her sneaking a look under the briefcase and stopped the test to confront the girl.
The girl burst into hysterics, saying she didn't do it, and pointed at me as the guilty one. The teacher? She looked at me and said, "well, you are not crying, so I guess you did it."
For punishment, no playing in the playground with other kids for a month. After a couple of days of making me write hundreds of "it's a sin to lie", the teacher decided to let me read the books available in the classroom, as well as taking them home on Friday to read over the weekends. I read all the classic fairy tale books, fantasy books, and slowly embraced that realm as my own.
Eventually, I guess my mother's financial situation improved and I transferred to a private tutor to prepare for middle school.
Again, it wasn't until about 40 years ago that I saw the good that came out of the catholic school experience. I discovered the fairy tale realm, I learned that I had discernment at a very early age and knew what was possible and what was bull. The fairy tales inspired me to talk to plants, animals, clouds and all kinds of imaginary beings. It kept me sane in a realm of insanity which was my family. It was the beginning of a shamanic path that brought me to a realization that the other world of "imaginary" beings is a world where lies are non-existent, love is always present and acceptance was a given.
Leave a Reply.
I am Amayah. Here you will find the story of an amazing being that became trapped in the cycle of incarnation on Earth. I hope that my experiences inspire you to discover your story.